I can't believe it- just over 4 1/2 years

I'm surprised it has taken 4 1/2 years to put up any pictures of my present pair of bunnies. Mickey Velvet came to me 3 weeks after I helped my Snuggies on in his journey and it's just tonight that I've been able to do this. I'm suddenly missing my baby so much-near tears. I've taken pictures of my pair over the years, but unable to see their pics, with the exception of on my cell phone.

I guess I'm at a different level of my grieving process. And it is a process. There's not a day that goes by when I don't think of my Snuggies and sing our special song. I'm very grateful that I've not only sensed his presence, but I've seen him running around. It's always a comfort. He and I were like one. I never really knew what it was like to raise a bunny, until Mickey Velvet came and he was a special needs bunny. To watch the relationship between him and Flocon is absolutely amazing and beautiful.

I know I shouldn't but I feel guilty that it has taken this long for me to put up their pics on my fridge. I'm so near tears, it's not funny. I have to believe that Snuggles is ok with it. I think he is. I hope that Mickey Velvet and Flocon know that I've always loved them. I just returned from vacation and the lady who was looking after them, cuddled with them every day. Now I did cuddle with them, but I think it was different. Now I cuddle them with more love. We had a 45 minute family cuddle the other night, in my rocking chair. We're all so much calmer.

I know I'm not making sense, but I feel I need to apologize to Snugs and to them- I wonder if I've set Snuggies a bit more free. Don't know. I had forgotten that I had taken his pic from my fridge and put it on top of my printer. When I didn't see him on the fridge, I just about took the new pics down. Luckily, I saw my favourite pic of Snugs when I turned around.

Snuggles Cuddles Sunshine and I are always together in spirit and soul, as love never ever dies and we're forever united. I know that when it's my turn that he'll be the very first one to greet me. It was validated twice that we're twin soul mates. One of the people is an animal whisperer. I've never known that deep love in my life. I can't say never, but I highly doubt it'll happen again. I was so lucky to have my Snuggies in my life for 8 1/2 years. I hope and believe he felt the same for me.

I guess it's ok to feel mixed and full of emotion right now. Maybe I can look at it as my heart is filled with love for all three buns, but differently. I'll always love my pair, and Snuggies was that extra special little one. To be honest, he was and is my everything. It feels really strange to have the new pics up. I suppose it'll take getting used to. Sigh! How come every step is so hard? At least this one is mixed, because, I'm glad that I put up the pics, and I miss my special baby.

I don't know how much sense I'm making. I had wonderful and loving cuddles with Mickey Velvet and Flocon tonight. That being said, I'd give anything right now to cuddle with Snuggies. I can only do that in my mind and in my heart. I know it's normal to be triggered at different times and tonight is definitely one of them. Sigh! I really miss my baby. that's ok. I guess there would be something wrong with me if I didn't. Can't have that extra special bond and then have it disappear. Not possible. Think I need to have a good cry. That's ok. It's all part and parcel of grieving.