Family euthanized my dog without telling me

I lost my dog, Luna, on September 5th. She was almost 16 years old and sick, she couldn't jump anymore because her legs were too weak and she would need pills for the pain. Even when she was in pain, she would still want her pats and cheek rubs, she loved them and she loved to be next to you all the time.

So I left my country 10 months ago and moved to the U.S. to be with my now husband. Back then, he was going through a lot so he needed me there. What I knew though is that once I left, I would never see my dog again. I had to prepare to say bye to her, I had to prepare for her death in advance, and it killed me inside. I cried so much, so so much. In the end, I got a plane ticket this January after my husband threatened me to break up if I didn't get one (he lost all control of his emotions). On January 9th, I was about to leave for the airport. She was laying on my bed, next to my pillow. I patted her and I was about to break down but I told her I loved her, that I would miss her a lot. She watched me leave from my bed, she looked so sad... And that was my last memory of her.

On September 5th, early in the morning, I received 10 messages from my sister. She told me that my dog stayed in the vet for a few days and that, in the end, she had renal failure and they decided to put her to sleep. They told me when my dog was already gone, so suddenly. My sister said that she didn't know how to tell me, so she just didn't so I wouldn't worry about my dog. It still broke my heart and I cried my heart out that day.

I asked her where will she be buried, but she told me she would be burned. I almost threw up, I didn't know how horrible it was to think that someone you love will be burned to ashes. I breathed in and thought, well, maybe I'll have her ashes to cry to. But no, my sister said that it was too expensive to keep her ashes and that they would be kept with other animal's ashes or who knows where. I lost it there. I was angry and incredibly sad, I would have nothing to cry to, only her toys. My sister said her ashes or body would have no value, because it's just a skeleton, not really her, that she would live in our memories and hearts. I know she is right but it still hurts to think that I couldn't say bye to her and that I will never be able to.

The fact that I am far away from home makes it worse too. I feel like if I go back home "I'll go back in time" and she'll be there, but I have to keep telling myself that even if I go back, she won't be there, no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, she won't be there. It just feels like a nightmare I'll wake up from soon.

I do have a puppy (she is my husband's dog) and she does remind me of Luna. She is a yorkie and my old puppy was a mix of a yorkshire and something else we don't know, but she had a yorkie face. Her name is Little bear and I am really grateful that she is there for me, she is a sweetheart, super silly and caring (she loves to give you kisses on the nose) and I love her a lot.
But I will never forget my puppy, Luna. She was the sweetest puppy I've ever met, she had no malice in her soul, super patient, super loving and caring. Clever too, she knew many tricks I taught her.

I'll always miss her... This was her last photo, when my sis took her to the vet a few days before she was put to sleep. As you can see she was old but she still had so much love in her eyes, she still wanted to be with us but she couldn't...

I'm so sorry for your loss, If I could offer you a real hug I would. She looks like such a beautiful dog and she must have loved you very much We have our memories, I know every day I think about our pets who have passed on and I always cry. I have three kitties that I love but I will never forget our pets. Do you have any pets now? Or plan to in the future? I know it takes time before deciding on another pet.