Who's the blame

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Who's the blame Empty Who's the blame

Post by TiffanyH2017 Thu Aug 03, 2017 5:35 pm

Tuesday night I sent my 12&9 yr old boys to the corner store. They managed to sneak my sister's Maltese out of my home without permission. I received a call 5mins after the boys left stating that our dog Blu was hit by a car. Blu didn't make. The awful part about it, is my boys are devastated, I'm devastated,and everyone has been crying non stop since this happened. I haven't eaten, showered, and have been in my bed since this happened. My body is confused with mixed emotions. For one is because, Blu belongs to my sister. I've had him for about 10 months, because my sister had a fire and is back in fourth in a shelter. When I got him he was very disobedient, and wasn't house broken. He'd only listen to me if I had food. He would run when I call him, or if I told him to sit once I turned my back he would run away. He urine and pooped all over the place. And I tried everything I could possibly do to get a grip on him. Now I know my boys were 100 percent wrong for taking Blu without permission, and not leashing him, but I just feel like he caused that on himself. Am I wrong for saying this? I feel like it's wrong. Honestly I feel like I need to put blame on someone to make myself feel better. I'm so hurt behind this. Blu was a handful, but he had so much personality, and so loving I would do all over again. My sister hasn't spoken to me since this happened. I even gave her every last penny I had to have Blu remains sent to her. My boys are haunted behind this. My youngest has been walking around the house saying he wish it was him instead of Blu. I've been checking up on them here n there because I would absolutely die if they were to hurt themselves over this. I even gave my boys an hour long lecture about disobedience. We're truly and genuinely sorry this happened to lil Blu. Thai pain is awful. I've been taking NyQuil every chance I get to sleep the pain away. He didn't deserve this at all. My daughter came back frm camp today and told me a woman wanted to speak with me about the accident. The woman told my daughter that she had the driver who hit Blu licenses plate number. She told my daughter the driver hit Blu, then halted then ran over Blu crushing his skull. Should I make a police report? Or is it basically my boys fault for not leashing Blu. Someone please give me advice. I find it almost impossible to speak on this topic on my other social medias, because people aren't sensitive to things like this. And I would hate to tell all of my 1500 friends to go to hell. Where did I go wrong? What should I do next?


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Join date : 2017-08-02

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Who's the blame Empty Re: Who's the blame

Post by Nala's daddy Fri Oct 13, 2017 1:58 pm

Hello Tiffany.

I am so sorry for your lost. Your situation is very unique. I just lost my dog a few days ago I am too trying to find whom to blame. Was it the vet fault? Was he lacking the skills necessary? Was it my fault? should I research for more options? I will never know.

Like I said at the begging, your situation is very unique. It is understandable that you feel that your kids are responsible, but I think you need more information in order to arrive to that conclusion. Was the driver speeding? Did Blu suddenly run away from you kids into the street? You need to make sure that what that woman is reporting to your daughter is true. Was Blu's skull really crushed? (Sorry for the question). If that is the case, she might be telling the true.
I live in a third world country, the police would laugh at me if I report such accident, there is no justice for dogs here. If you live in a country where the police would do something about it, and the evidence shows that is true, you should take action.

Regarding blaming your kids, you just need to evaluate their intention. Did they want that to happen? I know the answer is No, so you must see the situation as it is, it was an accident. They were irresponsible, but if they are good kids, you must see that and let those feelings go.

I hope that everything works out for you.


Nala's daddy

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Join date : 2017-10-13

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Post by DarlaVera Sun Oct 15, 2017 9:26 am

I think that blame is a very natural part of the process, whether it be ourselves, the veterinarians, a family member, or other person involved. Your sister is feeling the same things that we are, trying to find a scapegoat that might alleviate the pain. Anger is easier for most people to deal with than despair and desolation. It's a desperate attempt to avoid the acceptance of the terrible tragedy that we did not volunteer to experience. I often cry out, "Why this? I only wanted to love this little girl and she only wanted to love me. Why did THIS have to happen?" In these times I blame God. But it makes no difference whether we find the one who "did this" or not; the fact remains that for now we must deal with the pain and cling to the hope of an afterlife when we will see our precious babies once again. I wish you all the best on this difficult journey.


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