I lost my baby Bayleis

We had Bayleis since he was a baby, he always was adventurous, fun, curious and tender dog. We used to have a lot of interaction with him, every single day our life in some extend revolved around him. He was always with us, he traveled with us to anywhere. He knew when we were thinking go out and he looked us in some way that we cannot refuse to take him with us. He was our joy, he was like a piece of heaven in our house. Everything was brighter because him. And now he is gone and we can not understand how our life is going to be without our little great friend, our baby, our love.

I am writing this and my heart is totally broken.
We took him to the hospital for an echo-cardiogram and he died. We gave him alive and they gave us Bayleis dead. He was sick he had a congestive heart failure but he wasn't too sick. Still we have many questions, I blame myself for taking him there. all the time I think what if we would have done different. It has been terrible for us. All the family is heartbroken, we cry a lot, we talk a lot about him and how he gave us so much happiness.

I am grateful for this web site that allow me to write my feelings. Also I am so sorry for everyone here who lost his/her friend.

Lili.

Lili, I am so sorry. You replied to me about my Alex. I know exactly how you feel. We took Alex everywhere with us and included him always, he was more then a pet, he was a part of our family. Please don't blame yourself for taking him to the vet. I think we always second guess our decisions wondering if we would still have pets if we did something different. I had someone tell me by letting them go is the biggest act of unselfishness. It just hurts so much to have them gone. I look at all of Alex's photos and the most recent ones, he really does not look well, but I kept telling myself he's still wagging his tail, he is just having a bad day. The morning he fell and could not hold himself up, I was grateful we were home with him, I would have felt worse if he died while we were at work. I found out some of the meds he was on can actually cause fluid around the heart, and I felt horrible because I was forcing this medication on him and I questioned myself, should I have done something different? You gave Bayleis a loving wonderful life and he will be waiting for you on the other side. For now, you just need to keep his memory alive and remember all the joy he has given you. I know this is so hard, I still cry (as I am now writing this). It has been over 3 weeks for me and it still hurts just as much, but I think that is because they were such an important part of our lives.